Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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