my soul wont recognize me after tonight
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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