STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
