I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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