i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
50% drunk capacity currently
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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