I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
