i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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