Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
