so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
