Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
