3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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