I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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