Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I will pee on everything he values.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
