I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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