Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
where does the pee come out of this thing
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
