they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
