I think I died a long time ago.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
