And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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