i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
