Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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