Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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