And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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