I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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