How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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