dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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