and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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