New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
