Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
