can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
