Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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