also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
