he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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