I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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