I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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