I'm really into asian looking animals
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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