I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
soo... how was my night?
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