They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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