Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
