Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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