Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
