I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
