i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
