I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
