He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
