She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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