i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
