I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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