If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
