im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
