That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
